So I have been really busy with school. Well, busy is not the word - I have been stressed! As a matter of fact, I was so stressed yesterday that I felt like crying. Yesterday I reported to work at 6:30 am for bus duty, had to administer a three-hour test which means no planning period, did my afternoon bus duty, went to a faculty meeting to learn about more work that we are going to have to do, make photocopies, go back to straighten up my room for the next school day, AND went to my night class. All of this is on top of the the other paperwork for individual students, and my classwork that I have to do. My own schoolwork involves me building a website.
Needless to say, I was in a terrible mood yesterday! *lol* When I left class last night, I was talking to teachers and complaining about all the things that I have to do. That is when it happened. I was super stressed about the website, and was trying to convey this to the other teachers when it slipped. I almost used profanity. Actually, I said enough of the word that it sounded like I had said the entire word. I was shocked! They were shocked. It had been years since I had actually used profanity. I wasn't even thinking it. I apologized profusely to the teachers who I am sure have now decided that all Christians are fakes. I repented before God as I drove home.
I have been wanting to stop this maddening pace for a while. I love teaching, but I feel like I am suffocating under pressure from outside forces. You know, of course, that the housework is not getting done because I have no energy left for it. My prayer to God is to continue to give me the strength to bear this burden, but to also make a way for me to not have to work outside of the home. This all depends on finances and a dear hubby who believes that good women can work and keep a really neat home. I don't actually believe that I am equipped for that. For my stay-at-home mommies, is it this tough at home??
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
A little break
Hello, sisters and friends! I am planning to take a short break from blogging because life is really busy now. With family, teaching, grad school, helping to plan a family reunion I am just bogged down! I will check in every now and again and read your posts. Until then, God bless you!
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Training up Your Child
So, sisters and friends, I was talking to a dear friend of mine who is also a Christian when I encountered a roadblock in our conversation. She dug in her heels and I dug in mine. The subject? Raising children up to be Christians. She has a problem with parents who are "too deep". For those who do not know, "too deep" is when you don't allow your children to watch certain show or listen to certain music, etc. Well, that's me! *lol*
For an example, I don't let my daughters watch "Wizards of Waverly Place" because it glorifies witchcraft (the use of powers that do not come from God). Recently, we've cut out Hannah Montanta because of the recent actions of Miley Cyrus. On the other hand, she allows her daughter to watch a show like "Wizards of Waverly Place", but she watches it with her in order to explain God's perspective on certain things. I wouldn't allow her to a show that has pervasive evil, but if we happened to watch something decent on Disney Channel that happens to have a questionable point during the show - we do talk about it.
One thing that she said was that people need to know the difference between reality and entertainment. I don't agree because in the Bible, David talked about putting *no* unclean thing before his eyes. However, I wanted to know your thoughts. What do you think, ladies???
For an example, I don't let my daughters watch "Wizards of Waverly Place" because it glorifies witchcraft (the use of powers that do not come from God). Recently, we've cut out Hannah Montanta because of the recent actions of Miley Cyrus. On the other hand, she allows her daughter to watch a show like "Wizards of Waverly Place", but she watches it with her in order to explain God's perspective on certain things. I wouldn't allow her to a show that has pervasive evil, but if we happened to watch something decent on Disney Channel that happens to have a questionable point during the show - we do talk about it.
One thing that she said was that people need to know the difference between reality and entertainment. I don't agree because in the Bible, David talked about putting *no* unclean thing before his eyes. However, I wanted to know your thoughts. What do you think, ladies???
Friday, August 7, 2009
Flashback: a love story
After replying to a comment that was posted on my blog, I realized that I have never shared ANY of my testimonies. I thought that I would share one of the testimonies that has had the most impact on me and on others who heard it.
I was raised as a Christian in a holiness type church. My own church was non-denominational, but the women wore headcoverings to church and did not wear pants - anything immodest was out of the question! Although not encouraged, some women wore light makeup and small jewelry (i.e. no dangly earrings). My home church really stressed relationship over religion and I learned a lot about God. Even though I gave my life to God when I was nine, I didn't know a lot about how my newly found salvation was supposed to be maintained.
During middle school years though college, I led my life as I saw fit. I smoked, drank, and engaged in sex outside of marriage. Even though I knowingly lived in sin, by the world's standards I was normal. I was actively involved in communit service through my sorority, an honor student, an actress at my college's theater productions, and a "nice person". In 1999, I met a sorority sister who was a born-again Christian. She witnessed to me and was encouraging me to return to God when I realized that had I missed my monthly. Even though my boyfriend and I were "safe" - I was pregnant.
I told my sorority sister and she told me that I was at a crossroads. Either I would use this experience to return to God's will, or I could allow my pregnancy to make me bitter and let the enemy to destroy me. The only decision that I made at the time was the decision not to go home for summer break. I was so embarrassed for me and for my parents. After all that my parents and my church had taught me, I had messed up. A concerned friend told me that I could take his cousin's room in his house until I figured out what to do. So I did that to stall for time.
Several of my friends told me to have an abortion, and I seriously considered it. Even my baby's father told me to do so, and that he would pay for it. It was then that I began having nightmares about abortion. I knew that it was wrong even though I was considering it. The friend that I lived with told me not to abort the baby and that if need be, he would help take care of me and the baby. It was then that I finally prayed to God.
I went to my room and prayed that God would take care of me. I literally said that I knew that abortion was wrong, but that I had no means to take care of a baby. I told the Lord that if he wanted me to do what was right that I would need His help. After practically years of not reading the Bible, I felt an urge to read a certain passage. It was a passage that was unfamiliar to me but has become one of my favorites. The passage was 2nd Timothy 3:14-15.
"14. But as for you, continue to hold to the things you have learned and of which you are convinced, knowing from whom you learned them,
15. And how from your childhood you have had knowledge of and been acquainted with the sacred Writings, which are able to instruct you and give you the salvation which comes through faith in Christ Jesus." (Ampilfied Version)
I started crying because God's love had reached down and touched me when I was so desperate. I had literally just prayed for God's help and received an immediate answer using a scripture that I don't recall ever having read before that day. That day, I decided that I was going to trust God and have the baby. Once I made that decision I experienced a gentle peace of mind that had eluded me before. I still hadn't given my life to God though.
A few weeks later, I moved into a rental house during my summer vacation and started working. While I was there, God used the 700 Club television ministry to speak to my heart. I was watching it and sobbing at the mess that I had made of my life, and decided to call the prayer line. While praying with the lady on the prayer line, I literally relinquished every hold that I kept over my life and decided that Jesus died so that I would live in peace and joy. God was all that I needed, and boy did I need him!
Salvation was and continues to be a lovely gift in my life. My baby girl was born in January of 2000 to a loving mother and a father who decided that he would stick around after all (that's a whole other testimony!). People who knew I was pregnant donated bags and BAGS of baby clothes, diapers, wipes, bottles, etc. When my precious was two years old I went out to buy her an outfit because I had never had the opportunity to do so before due to all of the donations. My parents continued to love and support me, and soon afterwards I married the man God sent to me (another testimony).
I know that this has been really long, but this testimony has meant so much to me! Just thinking about the sweet love that God showered on ME, of all people, is enough to bring me to tears everytime I think about it. I hope that this blesses you as much as it does me! Love you!
I was raised as a Christian in a holiness type church. My own church was non-denominational, but the women wore headcoverings to church and did not wear pants - anything immodest was out of the question! Although not encouraged, some women wore light makeup and small jewelry (i.e. no dangly earrings). My home church really stressed relationship over religion and I learned a lot about God. Even though I gave my life to God when I was nine, I didn't know a lot about how my newly found salvation was supposed to be maintained.
During middle school years though college, I led my life as I saw fit. I smoked, drank, and engaged in sex outside of marriage. Even though I knowingly lived in sin, by the world's standards I was normal. I was actively involved in communit service through my sorority, an honor student, an actress at my college's theater productions, and a "nice person". In 1999, I met a sorority sister who was a born-again Christian. She witnessed to me and was encouraging me to return to God when I realized that had I missed my monthly. Even though my boyfriend and I were "safe" - I was pregnant.
I told my sorority sister and she told me that I was at a crossroads. Either I would use this experience to return to God's will, or I could allow my pregnancy to make me bitter and let the enemy to destroy me. The only decision that I made at the time was the decision not to go home for summer break. I was so embarrassed for me and for my parents. After all that my parents and my church had taught me, I had messed up. A concerned friend told me that I could take his cousin's room in his house until I figured out what to do. So I did that to stall for time.
Several of my friends told me to have an abortion, and I seriously considered it. Even my baby's father told me to do so, and that he would pay for it. It was then that I began having nightmares about abortion. I knew that it was wrong even though I was considering it. The friend that I lived with told me not to abort the baby and that if need be, he would help take care of me and the baby. It was then that I finally prayed to God.
I went to my room and prayed that God would take care of me. I literally said that I knew that abortion was wrong, but that I had no means to take care of a baby. I told the Lord that if he wanted me to do what was right that I would need His help. After practically years of not reading the Bible, I felt an urge to read a certain passage. It was a passage that was unfamiliar to me but has become one of my favorites. The passage was 2nd Timothy 3:14-15.
"14. But as for you, continue to hold to the things you have learned and of which you are convinced, knowing from whom you learned them,
15. And how from your childhood you have had knowledge of and been acquainted with the sacred Writings, which are able to instruct you and give you the salvation which comes through faith in Christ Jesus." (Ampilfied Version)
I started crying because God's love had reached down and touched me when I was so desperate. I had literally just prayed for God's help and received an immediate answer using a scripture that I don't recall ever having read before that day. That day, I decided that I was going to trust God and have the baby. Once I made that decision I experienced a gentle peace of mind that had eluded me before. I still hadn't given my life to God though.
A few weeks later, I moved into a rental house during my summer vacation and started working. While I was there, God used the 700 Club television ministry to speak to my heart. I was watching it and sobbing at the mess that I had made of my life, and decided to call the prayer line. While praying with the lady on the prayer line, I literally relinquished every hold that I kept over my life and decided that Jesus died so that I would live in peace and joy. God was all that I needed, and boy did I need him!
Salvation was and continues to be a lovely gift in my life. My baby girl was born in January of 2000 to a loving mother and a father who decided that he would stick around after all (that's a whole other testimony!). People who knew I was pregnant donated bags and BAGS of baby clothes, diapers, wipes, bottles, etc. When my precious was two years old I went out to buy her an outfit because I had never had the opportunity to do so before due to all of the donations. My parents continued to love and support me, and soon afterwards I married the man God sent to me (another testimony).
I know that this has been really long, but this testimony has meant so much to me! Just thinking about the sweet love that God showered on ME, of all people, is enough to bring me to tears everytime I think about it. I hope that this blesses you as much as it does me! Love you!
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Prayer Support
Sisters, please pray for me. Without giving too much information - I am feeling frustrated by wanting to be much more modest and bring holiness into my home, but I need some support. I will take this to God on my knees and I pray, sisters, that you will remember me in your own prayers. I would GREATLY appreciate it - THANKS!
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Five Under Five
I was home flipping channels trying to find something decent to watch, which is in itself a huge challenge. I have a couple of relatively "safe" channels like Christian television stations, Hallmark, PBS, the History Channel, and Discovery. While looking through my "safe" channels, I stumbled upon a show that caused me great sadness and concern. I am not, by definition, "homophobic" but disagree with this lifestyle. When I was in high school and college I was a part of the theater and spent a lot of time with people who are gay, some who were happy about it and one who was not. Homosexuality, contrary to the way that many vocal Christians portray it, is a sin no greater than lying, stealing, fornicating, etc. but it is much more obvious. The Bible states that homosexuality is a sin, but lists it along with many others. There is no hate in my heart for homosexuals, but as a born-again Christian mother of children, I am striving to raise them in the way that they should go. The ways outlined in the Bible. Television is now seeming to me to be more trouble than it is worth. I don't want to throw out the baby with the bath water, as they say, but...
Sisters, I want to hear your own thoughts on this. Have you all seen this show? http://health.discovery.com/tv/amazing-families/five-under-five.html//
Sisters, I want to hear your own thoughts on this. Have you all seen this show? http://health.discovery.com/tv/amazing-families/five-under-five.html//
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Black + Headcovering + Modest Clothes = ???
So yesterday I wore a long white skirt (a great $10 purchase from Wet Seal and my summer favorite) that comes down to my ankles and a sleeveless shirt. The thing is that while I generally do wear sleeveless shirts, I am careful to wear a tank top underneath them so that anything on my chest is not visible from the sides no matter how I hold my arms. Well, as I was getting dressed yesterday I could not find my tank top so I grabbed a white leotard that I bought a couple of years ago that has long sleeves. So, in addition to the long skirt and the long-sleeved leotard with the sleeveless shirt over it, I wore my favorite black and white scarf as my headcovering. Ladies, I felt so comfortable and feminine!
I went bopping out of the house quite joyfully to pick up something from the convenience store. I get to the store and the door is held open for me. As a matter of fact, I was looking for a snack when a gentleman with a suit and bowtie (read: Nation of Islam) asks if I am looking for kosher food. Of course, I am trying to be a better steward of the body God has given me, so I tell him that I am working on better health. He suggests some places where I can buy healthy, kosher food. He was very respectful and nice. I'm thinking that he thinks that I am Nation of Islam so I tell him that I am a Christian, expecting the surprise that I knew was coming. He doesn't bat an eyelash, but smiles and is very kind.
As I left, another gentleman holds the door for me. When I get to the bank, the teller is super nice to me as well. I saw her looking at me when she was working with the customer in front of me so I wondered how nice she was going to be. Well, she was all smiles and super helpful. I received absolutely NO negative comments, or even stares for that matter. I wonder if people assume that I am a Christian because most women who profess to be Christians where I am from don't dress quite like I do. I don't think that covering full-time is a Biblical mandate, although there is plenty of evidence that women did do that, and I *believe* that I might want to do the same. If you've read previous entries you know that my dh doesn't think that it is necessary and discourages it, so I don't. As an African-American woman, it is something a bit cultural about wearing the occassional headwrap so I sometimes do that, which the dh is okay with.
A question for you covered ladies: How are you generally treated by people when you're out and about?
I went bopping out of the house quite joyfully to pick up something from the convenience store. I get to the store and the door is held open for me. As a matter of fact, I was looking for a snack when a gentleman with a suit and bowtie (read: Nation of Islam) asks if I am looking for kosher food. Of course, I am trying to be a better steward of the body God has given me, so I tell him that I am working on better health. He suggests some places where I can buy healthy, kosher food. He was very respectful and nice. I'm thinking that he thinks that I am Nation of Islam so I tell him that I am a Christian, expecting the surprise that I knew was coming. He doesn't bat an eyelash, but smiles and is very kind.
As I left, another gentleman holds the door for me. When I get to the bank, the teller is super nice to me as well. I saw her looking at me when she was working with the customer in front of me so I wondered how nice she was going to be. Well, she was all smiles and super helpful. I received absolutely NO negative comments, or even stares for that matter. I wonder if people assume that I am a Christian because most women who profess to be Christians where I am from don't dress quite like I do. I don't think that covering full-time is a Biblical mandate, although there is plenty of evidence that women did do that, and I *believe* that I might want to do the same. If you've read previous entries you know that my dh doesn't think that it is necessary and discourages it, so I don't. As an African-American woman, it is something a bit cultural about wearing the occassional headwrap so I sometimes do that, which the dh is okay with.
A question for you covered ladies: How are you generally treated by people when you're out and about?
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